Boleh tak saya berangan?

Baru je terfikir nak letak topic apa nak berangan, tiba-tiba teringat

IPTime Track tak buat lagi!!


Kenapa pukul 11.45 malam baru teringat nak buat? Kat office tak pedulik pun ??
Adakah baru risau selama ni agak selalu datang lambat?

Anyway, let's berangan for a while.

• To have a good and memorable weekend :)
• Makan sata (entah sape yang nak bawak pegi Kerteh lagi nih?)
• To actually get serious with blogging.

Anyway, i think my officemates shouldn't read my blog. Which is why i took off its' listing at FB. Tapi, as Zainul and Syafiq pointed out;

why have a blog if you don't want any readers?

Well it serves as a training ground to practice my English. Bolehhhh? Haha. no lah. My English is already pronounced. Haha. no lah.

Ok. Goodnite.

DIY tag taken from Oleen kt FB :)

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah Brian Littrell. Brandon Boyd. Ok wake up Idayu. Hoho dia merupakan seorang insan yang tangkap muat terhadap saya. And he didn't admit he was on the rebound! In denial! But i was heartless when i let him go. Oh well, nothing to lose. Paul Walker dan Scofield masih tunggu turn. Hihi.

2. Saya sedang mendengar Amy bising kat seblah saya, kata saya ni boring orangnye. Asyik2 ngadap laptop siang sampai malam. Oh well, tak leh jual adik kat pasar tani kan?

3. Mungkin saya patut siapkan cost estimation yang ptg tadi semangat save dlm pendrive and email kat personal account. Sebaliknya sedang berrekreasi di alam maya. OK takpe sok pagi gerak pegi opis lepas Subuh. Hihi.

4. Saya suka berangan yang indah-indah. :) dan kek lapis dan Charles&Keith dan sushi dan spend time with love ones.

5.Sahabat-sahabat baik saya Izyan si doktor, Alia si PTD and Hanis si RA. Oh ada lagi sorang tu ;) 143. hihi.

6.Saya tak paham kenapa TYT Melaka bagi Dato kat Shahrukh Khan?

7.Saya kehilangan rasa percaya terhadap several politicians. Dan rasanya i won't get it back.

8.Ramai yang berkata saya ni kelakar. haha. tak la. saya seorang yang garang tapi kelam kabut. dan baik tak bertempat. haha.

9.Makna nama saya cahaya something. Cahaya kegarangan yang kelam kot. Haha. Sila tanye En Jo.

10.Cinta itu adalah something that makes you smile for no reason; gives you strength to do the best; kekal for the Almighty; being the best person for yourself and your loved ones. Keikhlasan yang tidak boleh di pinta.

11.Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang merindui saya. Hihi. I miss you too Neyo!

12.Saya akan cuba menjadi insan yang lebih baik dari semalam untuk kebaikan semua.. dari parents hinggalah yang di Atas tu.

13.Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud eternity. Duh!

14.Telefon bimbit saya ialah Motorola Razr2 V9, bought by my own money :)

15.Bila saya terjaga dari tidur saya akan check handphone for messages baru tengok what time is it :) kalau awal saya akan baring lagi :)

16.Saya paling meluat apabila orang berbisik depan saya. tak kisahla siapa yang dibisikkan tu. Very rude. Also smokers in front of me. Automatik akan batuk.

17.Pesta/Parti adalah where the possibilities are endless. hihi.

18.Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah adik saya.. i mean, adik kepada adik saya. Kucing lah ok.

19.Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah masa sekolah dulu. Sebab ramai (ramai ke??) orang yang sudi melayan repekan saya. Sekarang seronok juga sebab dh pegang kewangan sendiri, boleh balas jasa orang tua dan makan apa saja tanpa perlu diet :)

20.Hari ini saya mendapat berita gembira sewaktu sedang bekerja :) 143. hihi.

21.Malam ini saya akan tido mimpi kek lapis sarawak.

22.Esok pula saya akan menanti bekalan kasih sayang :) dalam maksud nihh

23.Saya betul-betul inginkan kebahagiaan dan kematangan yang berkekalan. Ohh, nice house and car is on the list too. :)

24.Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini hati saya berkata 'comel juga muka sembab ni kan.. berkat bangun masa azan.. hahahha'

25.Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan sudah tentu the former. Jaya Jusco sentiasa memanggil nama saya petang ahad. Kadang2 saya terlebih menyahut seruannya. Dan kemudian credit card statement pon menyeru.

26.Makanan Barat atau Jepun both i like! More towards Japanese i think. Lagi healthy. cewahhh dan dan la healthy.

27.Bilik yang terang atau gelap bergantung kepada tujuan memasuki bilik itu. Agak agak nk meeting logically nak terang la kan. Agak-agak nak menimbulkan masalah gelap aa kot. Sedar-sedar dh tatau hari ape.

28.Makanan segera adalah sedap tapi takde khasiat. mahal lak tu. tapi makan jugak.

29.Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang? Good nite Amy. Amy busuk.

30.Siapa yang anda nak Tag? sesiapa yang baca. kalau ada la. rasa macam takde. kesian dayu. hahahahaha.

For those going through hard times..

The heart is stronger than you think,
It's like it can go through anything.
And even when you think it can't it finds a way to still push on, though
Sometimes you want to run away,
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it look into, your heart the beat goes on
I'm telling you that,
Things get better,
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up
Don't you know you can go be your own miracle
You need to know

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough,
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be..questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up…
through it all just stand up

It's like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Don't mean it got to take control, no
You ain't gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Don't wanna let your mind keep playin' you
And sayin' you can't go on

You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off
You can live your life
Let your heart be your guide

And you will know that you're good if you trust in the good
Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
And it will get better
Through whatever

You got it in you, find it within

Of old and new friends

Tomodachi.

Friends.

What would i do without them? I'd probably go crazy with all those thoughts unspoken in my mind. I'd probably grab any item on the kaiten belt if it wasn't for Alia who calmedly told me that i had ordered enough sushi. I'd probably run up the shiny plastic magic card every single day at Isetan. Oh well, thousands of possibilities there kan? :)

Gee. Does it show i have less control of myself? Haha.

Anyway, what sparked me to write this is because i remembered what tasks needs to be completed by next week. And i had imagined my workstation. And on my workstation, sat a new gift from PPenapisanMelaka, received sometime during last week.

Thank you Shasha!

Oh, it was a notebook which is very useful to me! And also a wooden box, which contained a brown pen and a slick cardholder. I don't have the picture now, but i'd upload them one fine day :) it's gorgeous i tell you!

Shasha came to KL for a short meeting. So short, i didn't get to have any meal with her! We met about 10 minutes at the food court, and off she went.. hmm . It's okay, i know we'll have lots and lots of opportunity to meet up kan?

*tiba-tiba i feel so.. urm.. inadequate cos i don't have my OPU's notebooks or beautiful gift boxes to give away.. i have one Shaping lanyard though.. *

I think it's so sweet of her, and even if she didn't bring me anything, i appreciate her the same. what is sweet is that the effort she makes to see me everytime she has a meeting here. mind you we have the largest member of our pipe here in KL yet only few connected. i guess we have good chemistry, kan shasha ( i know she doesn't read this )

and talking about appreciative friends, i remembered my old friends. of schools, universities (degree and half baked masters), former colleagues. at one point in my life they were my source of happiness and inspiration. we may not keep in touch now, but if they are reading this somehow, know that i wish the best for each of them.

we move on, that's for sure. but the good memories remain, insyAllah.

and can i just say i miss Izyan badly? :(

day 1

So this morning I woke up with tears down my face. It was actually hard to open my eyes. I tried not to sedu sedan as it will only worsen things. So i spent about an hour staring at the ceiling. Just to think.

Think of how to control my emotions.
Think of how to control my thoughts.
Think how i didn't have a plan yet sedangkan the much awaited weekend is here, just so i could keep my emotions in check.

I know i didn't want to leave the room or bed if i'm still exerting negative energy. Those sadness, pessimism, sarcasm and plain pathetic thoughts has got to leave my brain before i make any move at all.

Then i got mad at myself for still not having a plan despite the sunlight has peeked into my room. I realized this was so frustrating when he asked me what are my plans were for today.

I had to imagine what i always do, just to answer the question.
I hadn't a plan in the first place, remember?

So i know, know i had only two options: make the best of the day; or sit in bed and get mad at the rest of the world for making me feel sad.

I know i chose to live. And was given so many chances to do so, so i decided to make a move. All these took 20 minutes to decide. However i was still undecided on how i would make myself feel better. I just know i couldn't let the day go by. Everyone else is living their life despite hardships, who am i to be ungrateful to the Almighty and be mad at Him?

So that's when i remembered an online article from Shine, which listed ways to reduce stress without spending a dime! And unbeknowingly, i usually did one of the tip suggested; which are -

• Turn off the TV
• Go for a walk
• Call up a friend
• Take advantage of free events
• Hang out at your favorite bookstore
• De-clutter your home
• Treat yourself to a hot bubble bath by candlelight
• Bake your favorite cookies or your favorite cake
• Brew a special cup of tea or coffee and sit down in your favorite chair
• Update your photo album

read here for the rest of the article. it's quite good, actually.

So which one did i usually do? I declutter! :) So i looked at my bookshelf, my side table, and my wardrobe. Look for any possible item which serves no importance to me e.g. receipts, small boxes, unused facial creams and off it went to the dustbin :) i also put back my luggages from my recent outstation trips into the wardrobe, folded my clothes which was hanging on the rack, open up the curtains.. brush my hair..

and it relaxes me a little. only then my mind cleared off for some thinking for my plans. i took a shower and prepared myself to baby sit the family business premise.

on my way to the shop, i started to think of why i was sad. all morning i was preoccupied with being sad without actually analyzing why i was sad and how i could eliminate the sadness.

then as i was bloghopping, i remembered a few lines of blog entries i read elsewhere, which i could sum up in points:

• you are in charge of your own happiness. nobody can make you feel else unless you allow them to.
• the world is only a short stopover; jangan terlampau sedih or gembira sangat.

thereon, i reflected on why i was unhappy. mainly because:

a) i started to imagine the very near future where i couldn't ask for quality time

b) i was doing the scenario analysis whereby 'i wouldn't-get-that-chance'

i told myself, i always know i have decisions to make. either to be happy or sad. to stay or leave. i had already decided i want to stay. so if i want to stay, i choose to stay, then i must be sure that decision would be the best for me. that i would be happy with my choice.

i ask myself often am i happy with my choice? mostly i am. the days i am happy are countless and i pray it would stay that way for a long, long time.

so now that i build the mechanism of why's and hows, i could definitely feel the positive energy seeping in. and i feel a lot stronger and happier by the moment.

i look around me and smiled. i know i am going to make the best of the day. i know nobody would want me to sulk and mope all day long. am sure he doesn't want to see me sad as well.

i know i'm happy cos i feel the positivity. it makes me calm and assured. it gets me thinking of how my day is going to be spent with happiness.

and i hope this strength will never, never ever leave me.

Strange Survey

DIY tag from Oleen kt FB :)


1.Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
No. I would rather bang the CD player


2. What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
Oh wow. Age doesn't matter. Most men are immature lagipun kan..? MIAHAHA


3. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes i have, twice. Both kat bumper. Yes I got the nagging. Yes it wasn't my fault. And yes my parents didn't care if it was or wasn't my fault. I think i was emotionally charred by the incident more than i was sad to see the car.. selfish kan?

Iye la kot.. sape lagi nak sedapkan hati lepas kena marah, kalau bukan diri sendiri?


4. Were you popular in high school?
No. Jujur kan? Ke saja low profile? Hahah tipu.
I was known as the reserved girl who has talkative and popular friends.
The girl who discipline teachers would call her as ____'s sister.

Damn i worked hard to get them off that labelling on me.
When i left the school, teachers were saying me and my sibling were alike as night and day.

Rasa sangat bangga.
Bila fikirkan balik, ape lah sangat accomplishment yang nak dibanggakan tu?
To prove that i'm nothing like that?

Eh. Ter emo. Sorry. Jawapannya ialah ... saya tidak popular.
Kesian haha.

Tak la, most of my other schoolmates gerun dengan my serious disposition. They told me that
when we left the school, at weddings and gatherings. Tahpape nk serius semacam. Bukan pemawas pon.


5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Hum. Nope. Hopefully tak payah la kot :) kan kan?


6. Are looks important?

yes, if i look like si nicole scherzinger, senang kot buat pinjaman rumah kereta-tahan teksi -dpat seat kat restaurant best2-dapat first class bila fly.. sekali petik je, limablas mamat tersengih sengih macam kerang sanggup hantar balik-blanje makan-wayang -bli coach-bawak holiday..
wah. Idayu jealous rupanya!
but at the end of the day, only the heart and strong will that makes anything possible :)


7. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more??

Alia.Izyan.Hanis. All three who doesn't read this blog. All three my bestest of friends.


8. By what age would you like to be married?
Shall we go now, Neyo?


9. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?
No, it doesn't. What they do, which doesn't involve me, is none of my concern. I'm non judgmental that way. Nobody is perfect.

10. Have you ever made a mistake?
Ape punya soalan nih? Agak2 Mother Theresa or Mahatma Gandhi jawab ape ek?

11. Are you a good tipper?
I don't tip. I strip. Hahaha. Seriously though, saya belum cukup kaya nak tip pekerja Rotiboy / KFC / food court KLCC tak pasal-pasal. Lagipun saya sendiri angkat food tu ke meja. Dan saya dah bayar tax kan?

Baik saya tip diri sendiri!!

12. What's the most you have spent for a haircut?
RM 35. Tapi ni adalah rate normal so far to most hairsalons i've been to. Oh, inclusive ngan wash. And blow. Pastu pakai tudung balik. Hahaha tension je amoi2 yang blow tu.


13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Haha sudah tentu! Sekolah rendah, circa 1992, namanye Cikgu Rusdi. Tinggi (ye la kot, takkan aku darjah 2 sama tinggi ngan cikgu pulak kann), kurus and ada misai nipis. Ramai budak kelas minat dia nih. Dia penah bagi tiket free tengok Royal London Circus.

Tapi ofcourse bukan aku sorang je yang dapat.

Time sekolah menengah takde rasanya. Ada Pengetua Jawa yang gemuk bajet garang tapi penakut hoho.

Matrik pun takde rasanya. Zaman takde feeling kat sesiapa mahupun apa-apa. Minat Brandon Boyd je. Eh dia bukan cikgu.

UMS... adaaaa :) Nama dia Mr Colin, berbangsa India. Zaman uni i was always linked to Indian guys for reasons i don't know why. Mr Colin was my Basic Chemistry lecturer. I like his broad shoulders :) jadi saya tidak pernah miss kuliah Kimia. Subject lain takpe.

Walaupun begitu tak dapat 4.00. Ehe gatal....

14. Have you ever peed in public?

Maybe. Masa kecik. Dah besar panjang ni, kemut je laa kalau toilet tak jumpa/busuk/ramai orang. HAHAHA.

15. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Baca Quran berulang-ulang. Itu sahaja lagu yang dibenarkan di rumah time tu.

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
Gay adalah happy. So my parents always know i'm gay. They also know when i'm not gay.
OK la, u're referring to sexual preference kan?

I'd rather drink paraquat ala Sujatha aktres Tamil tu daripada outing myself like that.
Iffffffff i am gay la. So far saya adalah 150% straight :)

17.What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Ada selera ke time tu? Hmm kalau ada, nak laksa Penang. Pasta kat The Apartment. Laksa Johor. Macaroni and Cheese from Kenny Rogers. Nasi Ayam. Sata. Keropok Lekor. Sashimi from Sushi King. Tom Yam. Ketam Masak Cili Padi. J Co Donuts.

Bankrap Jabatan Penjara nak cater my request.. jadi simpan je la angan2 nak execute aku tak pasal-pasal.

18. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles. I wanna hold your hand.....

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?
Oh ramaiiii.. kenapa satu je? Pertamanya Bush. Kedua ialah bapak dia.
Dua orang je la. Hihi.

Although i hate several politicians in Malaysia, belum sampai rasa nak apa-apakan dorang. Dalam citer Tamil kan selalu bitau, orang jahat ni mati lambat. Jadi kita tunggu je la time dorang ok :)

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
i pick OR.

21. Do you have any phobias?
i am naturally afraid of the heights. somehow my job requires me to take 2 lifts everyday. bila dah sampai, all i can say is, the view is nice from top :)

tapi kan, 2 nights ago, i climbed a tank! no pictures la cos itu bukan tempat berposing suka ria kan. it was 19m high, the highest in that plant, and ada 102 steps. No i didn count. Ada mamat technician tu yang btau.

sepanjang those steps, berulang2 la ayat Qursi ok. takut sangat tiba2 tertumbang ke belakang ke ape kan. masa tu terpikir apsal dorang tak de safety harness ke ape.

ingat rock climbing kah Idayu?

my colleague, who's non Muslim, siap tanye, Did you pray for me Idayu? Of which i answered, yeah, i prayed for everyone..:P

anyway, bila dah sampai atas, ada la kagum gak dengan the view (of other tanks and moon) for about 10 secs. pastu, i was like..

OK ade berapa prosedur ni?
berapa lama ni bang?
abang selalu ke buat ni? <--- soalan macam hape je kan..nama pun keja!

and the whole time i was up there, tiba tiba wujud fobia baru iaitu takut terjatuh dalam tank! dalam tu dah la minyak seminyak-minyaknya. confirm arwah. takut lak nak tanya abang tu ada tak orang penah jatuh ke dalam?

ingat wall tu guna gam kertas ke dayu?

but it was a good experience for first class jakun like myself. interesting procedure la for non engineers like me. am sure other engineers out there macam tak heran panjat tanker maybe dah 800 kali dan boleh tutup mata je kot.

21. What are your plans for the future?
Save more, so i can acquire my own property. Have a healthy and loving and blessed relationship. Hone my craft and knowledge.

22. Do you walk around the house naked?
i wish :) haha. pakai tuala pendek sket dah kena jerit, lagi nak berbogel? nak kena jerit kah?

23. If you were an animal what would you be?
we all have animal instinct and traits in us.. auwm. haha gatal.

24. Hair color you like on someone you're dating?
Natural la. Kalau memang dah itam, tokse nak letak highlight biru or silver. some boys during sekolah menengah dulu suke buat prangai macamtu. tah pape. bajet cool la tu. eh emo lak. anyway, natural please.

25. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
Isyy menda macam ni tokse mintak la kan..

26. Do you have any special talents?
well my cats understand when i'm pissed. So there. KIDDING. Well, i don't know if being ambidextrous is a talent, but it sure helps when one hand is tired, i can easily switch to the other. Very handy during badminton, batu seremban, menjahit.. pun intended haha.

27. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Goes inside my room, turn on the fan and sit on the bed. Atleast 5 seconds before i decide to do anything. Then check handphone. Walaupun takde orang call/hantar message. Haha.

28. Do you like horror or comedy?
Comedy. Tapi yang slapstick tu sorry la sila main jauh2. Saya intelligent, jadi humor harus la guna IQ Mensa. Haha.

Am not a fan of horror movies. I don't see what is the point of horror movies when half the time i'd be covering my eyes anyway. And why do i want to scare myself more?

Tsk. tengok movie seram ni adalah sengaja untuk touchy feely dalam gelap kannnn? taktik lama *yawn*

29. Are you missing anyone?

My bestfriend Izyan..

30. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?:
Scarlett Johanson. Damn. She's so fine. I'd ban her movies to be shown to guys. Walaupun dia berlakon Pi Mai Pi Mai Tang Tu pakai baju kurung buruk sekalipon.

31. Where do you want to live when you are old?
It doesn't matter where i am, so long as i'm with my husband. :)

32. Who is the person you can count on the most?
Myself. No matter how sayang that person is towards you, be it your parents, your siblings, your galfriends, your boyfriend.. it is you who goes through every morning, it is you who decide if you are going to have a good or bad day. It is you who goes through hardships, who cries in the middle of the night. It is you who will realize all happiness generates from inside your heart.

Betul la kan. Time SPM, mak boleh solat hajat malam-malam. Tapi if you don't want to study, takkan nak harap pemeriksa tu terbuka hati bagi A1 if terang terangan tak dapat jawab?

33. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?:
Neyo. Oh berangannn

34. What did you dream last night?
Tak yah la share sini. I malu nyahh. MIAHAHAHA.

35. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Water gymnastic. Because they look so graceful.

36. Are you named after anyone?
I am named after a tribe.. Bidayuh. My dad was posted to Kuching back when i was nesting in my mom's tummy. So there. Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

37. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
I don't have one.

38. Have you ever been in love?
Hehe. *gelak gedik*


39. Do you sing in the shower?
Yes when i was in my teenage years. Feeling sedih kena tinggal boyfriend macam nyanyi in the rain gitu. Tabiat tu terpaksa dihentikan bila kena jerit sebab bil air naik. Haha.

40. Have you ever been arrested?
Nope. Hopefully never will.


41. What is your favorite Holiday?
Hmm any public holiday which entitles me to sleep or spending time with my love ones. That would be my favorite. Tak kisah la Hari Gawai ke, Pesta Kaamatan ke.. layan je.

42. Would you ever get plastic surgery?
No. Not in my right mind.


43. Have you ever caught a fish?

I did my final year project on the effects of chlorpyrifos on Tilapia gills. Masa tu rasa lagi lapar adelah. Makan Fillet of Fish tanpa rasa bersalah. Hehe. Mula-mula rasa alahaiii comelnya ikan-ikan ni.

Pastu..weh cepat la hari ke-tujuh. Nak sembelih ni. Nak gills buat sampling. Bila ikan - ikan tu mati sebelum hari ke-tujuh, rasa sangat emo sebab kena ulang experiment tu balik. Buang masa la weh. Menggelupur takut kena extend sebab project tak siap. Haha.

KK + Miri

Yoyo Milky Tea + Pudding + Nata de Coco
RM 3.30
Kota Kinabalu, 22/06





Instant gratification during my undergrad years.
Must have every week.
Masa final sem, lagi kerap meneguk.





I dunno if they put drug in that cos it is damn delicious and addictive.
I can't remember who introduced it to me.





This drink is only available in KK :)
(takde makna nk pegi bergambar dkt Welcome to KKIA signboard..)
Sila try this, available kat Centrepoint tingkat 3 and Plaza Wawasan tingkat 4 kot.





Nasi Lalapan Ayam, Restaurant Muara
Miri, 24/06

My officemates says it's a must have if one is to come down here.
So..bagi jakun first class like me, haruslah nak rasa kan?

Well, the taste is no different from your usual ayam goreng-tempe-kacang-sambal.
Cuma portion quite big. And all this is memang arrangement dorg. I don't have the skills nak susun camni cantik. Buat pe?

Ada lalapan ayam. Ikan. Daging.
Kerbau tak de.

Anyways, sedap la.
If you ever come here, do try.

P/s: the actual reason i get to taste these two is because of work. Alhamdulilah. Dapat pulang ke zaman degree sekejap. And explore the charming Miri. Tak yah la kan, gambar kerja?

cue: baling telur + tepung.
haha.